JOKE TIME AGAIN

Question: Why do couples hold hands during weddings?
Answer: It is just a formality. Like "2 boxers", they shake hands before the fight begins.

What is the most impressive example of Tolerance?
A Golden Wedding Anniversary!

Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing
Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
Student wrote: "My God! I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is?"

3 brothers named Bu, Chu and Fu migrated to USA from China.
They decided to change their name :
Bu became Buck
Chu became Chuck.
Fu decided to go back to China.

Man : I want to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in 6 months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to find!

Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by "A B C D E F "?
A - almost gone
B - barely noticeable
C - comfortable
D - damn good
E - extremely big and
F - Fake

Learning French

City - ce vou
Drug - sha vou
Good bye - va vou
Bald - cal vou
Caught in the act - navo cou
Feathers - valahi vou
Not clear - mala vou
Cute - a cou

LOVE AND MARRIAGE CYCLE

1-2 yrs : magkasalo sa plato
3-5 yrs : tig-isang plato
5-7 yrs : nagbabatuhan na ng plato
8-10 yrs : wala na silang plato
That is what we call PLATOnic love!

Chalk

Amo : 'Day, ang chalk na ito para mamatay ang ipis. Gamitin mo sa pader.
Maid : Opo, ati.
Next day
......
Nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader...
"Epes mamatay kayong lahat!"

Pulis: Bakit mo inihagis ang bata sa bintana?
Yaya: Sinunod ko lang po ang utos ng amo ko. Sabi po ng amo ko, 'wala na tayong Pampers,i- Huggies mo na lang si baby.

APPLICANTS:

2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo

Matalino: Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?
Bobo: Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa Sex, sure.

BUGTUNGAN:

Patpat mong matigas
Labas masok sa butas,
Pag iyong idiin, giniling giling
Kiliti and mararating.
Ano ito?............
Cotton buds! Wag daw dumi isip, bad iyan.

SENSITIVE CHILD

1st day in school...
Mom to teacher - Very sensitive po ang anak ko. Kung kailangan nyo po parusahan, Sampalin nyo na lang po ang katabi nya. Matatakot na 'yan!

Katapusan

Lumindol ng malakas noon....
Nagkagulo and lahat at nag-panic.
Sumigaw ang isang lalake..
"Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
Sumagot ang isa pang lalake..
"Tanga, a kinse pa lang."